break your back

Break your back.
Continue breaking it until
Your spine is a collection
Of shards of bones, tendons,
Tender discs flattened into coins.
Coins you’ll use one day
As legal tender
To get to Heaven.

Wage scores of wars on yourself,
Drown your thoughts in plots
Of doubt of worth.
Kneel and pray at the hearth
Of your own ashes.
Gather those ashes in a box,
Tie it with a satin sash,
Lash yourself with it.

Fall in love with your fallen life.
Let trains of veins carry
Your wary corpse
Over stumps of outstretched hands,
Vacant glands
Secrete no secrets,
Singing refrains of pain,
Sane though you are.

Carry the self-gift of your self-guilt,
Evidence the tribulation
Of your self-immolation,
On your broken back.
Let it weigh you down,
Watch yourself sag
Like an overfull sack
Of tarnished doorknobs.

So break your back.
Stack racks of oval stones
Until it buckles.
Chuckle a whole bunch
At the crunch you hear
As it bends and rends
You further lame,
Tame and inane.

You are worth exactly
As much as any soul: not much.
A troll rolling swiftly
Over a tiny patch of land.
Fact: you are less
Than one trillionth
Of one single
Collective human.


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