an ode to north carolina

Fuck all the fem’nists who think they know best,
A girl’s only gifts are her pussy and breasts.
So leave all the thinkin’ to smart men like me,
Them bitches can’t even stand up to pee.

My friends call me “C” but to you all I’m Cletus,
And, though I like sluts, I’m protecting the fetus.
I was born in America and damn I’m proud of it!
Fuck all of these lib’rals who clearly don’t love it.

Let’s discuss for a minute them flaming fag homos
Who want to get married and show TV promos,
Butt fucking their way across this great land.
‘Bout time a true patriot was making a stand.

You ‘Frisco dem libs, say’n the Earth’s gettin’ hot?
Don’t say shit in the Bible, so it’s def’nitely not.
Go ride your fag bikes, and shut the fuck up,
Don’t care what you say, I’ll fill my truck up.

To England and France, you think you’re so swell?
If it wasn’t for us, you’d be German as well.
So pay some respect, or better, some fear,
Or we’ll send troops your way, and make that shit clear.

Ain’t no army as strong as the US marines.
Fuck Arabs and Chinks, Ruskies eating sardines,
Don’t go round explainin’ how our best days is passed,
Or we’ll blow your shit up with a big fuckin’ blast.

What the fuck is all this about fighting for rights?
Christ knows that this country belongs to the whites.
I know I am right, ’cause I stand up and shout.
And I say, you don’t like it? Then get the fuck out!

So fuck all you Muslims, Latinos, and Queers,
My friends all agree when we’re pounding our beers
That America’s the best, and always will be,
But only when y’all are exactly like me.



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