Oh, hi there.
I didn’t see you, lurking behind your computer screen there, or squinting into your iPhone on the city bus while a homeless man masturbates beside you. The point is I didn’t see you. The real point is I haven’t seen you in a while. Too long, really (that’s what she said). I miss you, like, a lot.
I missing laying my soul bare to anonymous strangers on the internet. I really do. I really do miss being the online equivalent of a guy who just won’t stop talking about himself on a first date. (… and then, after the Peace Corps, I went to Baffin Island to club seal clubbers, those Native American murderers, and then, after that, I went to Chile to consult with a shaman, and he told me I would find my zen in a dirty rest stop bathroom in the geographic center of Montana, and then I went to Montana, and then… well, long story short, I really enjoy the company of bearded mountain men now. This one time I made out with Chuck Norris and The Most Interesting Man in the World, simultaneously. Anyway, what do you do? Where are you going?)
No really, I do miss you, and I’m sorry I haven’t spoken up lately. I’ve been writing a lot of “creative” stuff (I now tell people, with my eyes half closed, that I’m, like, a writer?), and by the time I sit down at the computer, my proverbial writer’s voice is a little hoarse. But, the class I’ve been taking is over, and now I can write with my regular irreverent ramble, and it feels good. I’m doing it now. You’re reading it. I love you, and I promise to never be away from you for so long.
Let’s never fight again.